Is a writer living in Southern California. Her work has been published in places like The Collagist,
PANK, Hobart, The Rumpus, The Chicago Review, Smokelong Quarterly and Wigleaf.
"Normally Special," a collection of stories, is available from Tiny Hardcore Press. (http://www.tinyhardcorepress.com/)
Her chapbook, "Billie the Bull" is available from from Dzanc Books.( http://www.dzancbooks.org/billie-the-bull-by-xtx/)
She says nothing at www.notimetosayit.blogspot.com

Things In My Purse(s)

I had one main purse and then I got a new purse for my birthday to which I transferred some of my main purse items. I am still test-driving the new purse so I haven’t moved everything over yet in case I decide I don’t like the new purse. So most of the ‘crap’ items are still in my ‘main purse’ and I’m afraid of what I will find in there.

Here is how it breaks out, in exactly the order I pulled the shit out:

► New Purse

-A root beer barrel candy (I will never eat this, I hate root beer, some man handed it to me so I would go into his candy store. I was polite and just took it and put it in my purse.)
-A mini pump hair spray thing
-Urban Decay Super Saturated Lip gloss thing
-A Bad Feminist keychain
-An afro pick
-A silica gel pack
-Another root beer barrel candy.
-A Slicks Sun Glaze lip gloss
-An ELF lipstick Cheeky color
-4 quarters and a penny and a dime
-A pink nail polish just for thumbnails
-My wallet
-A shopping list.
-A piece of paper my boss gave me with my promotion ‘details’ on it
-A gift card to Massage Envy (also from my birthday)
-A sleep mask
-A ‘thinking about you” note from the niceface Lisa Mecham.
-A long strap that goes on the purse if you want to make it have a long strap
-A pack of Mentos
-A Tiffany pouch
-A small bottle of CVS cold remedy
-A loosely crumpled bunch of tissues.
-A large bottle of Bamboo Uplifting Root Blast
-A crumpled sticky note with a shopping list scribbled on it
-A tampon
-A blue hair band
-A pen
-A bottle of diet pills
-A bottle of thyroid medication
-Two Barnes and Noble gift cards (from my birthday)
-My iphone

►“Main” Purse

-A penny
-An empty heart-shaped tin of mints from Victoria’s Secret
-A Starbucks gift card
-A Smashbox lipstick Dream color
-A finger tip band aid bandage thing
-Fifteen cents
-A matchbox from Atticus Books with Steve Himmer’s “The BeeLoud Glade” artwork on it.
-A handwritten receipt for a book dated 8/21/13
-A tiny bottle of Red Door perfume
-A matchbook from Cole’s in LA
-A contact lens thing
-A graphite heart that is anatomically correct shape.
-23 cents
-A small silver metal knob thing that I don’t know what it is
-A tiny clay head sculpted by Joel Patton
-A Stay Glossy lip gloss Rose color
-A frosty pink lip gloss
-A Color Stay lip liner Rose color
-A two-sided lip gloss thing
-One of those purse holder things you put on a table when you go out to lunch
-a quarter
-A lipstick
-A zippered pouch with two bulldogs on it and one has a sequin collar
-A bottle of anti-anxiety pills
-A tampon where the wrapper came off
-Another frosty lip gloss and another lip liner
-Another lipstick
-A black drawstring pouch for I’m not sure
-An empty tube of Lanacort
-Another contact lens
-A green, red and white peppermint like when you take from a restaurant
-A business card from Figaro in LA
-A pen
-A Bad Feminist button
-A check for $100 dollars from my mom for my birthday THAT I TOTALLY FORGOT TO CASH, OBVI. WHOOPS
-Another matchbook from Cole’s
-The wrapper from the tampon.
-A small bottle of “Pure Moist” Opti Free eyewash stuff
-Another bottle of diet pills
-Three dimes and a dollar coin

Things I learned: I have too much loose change and too many lip products in my purses. And too many things I should just throw away.

“Gray Area”: Not sure if I was supposed to make note of all the ‘grit’ at the bottom of my purse; i.e. sand, bits of dirt, glitter, rocks, paper, fuzz, etc. Cuz there was lots of that stuff and maybe it constitutes an “ingredient” if collected together as one item.

How I felt: I feel pretty gross, overall. And, like, desperate, for having so many ‘beauty products’ and also the diet pills. I feel like being a woman is wasted on me and that by letting you look in here, you will see that and be like, fuuucckkk.